I know, you did send me back to the future, but I’m back. I’m back from the future.
Salt and pepper hair, we’re not together there, but we had a good run; it was what, like twelve months? Or maybe it was longer in my thoughts since even before then, because I can pinpoint all of our past dates, presently, and in the future tense, but I was weary to call it by a name. Now we don’t use each other’s, unless it’s with others that we conversate. That’s not a real word, just like I am in your rear view. Now I’m all consumed by work, and I’m just tired of the real world. I miss the self-created fantasy, when your smile was all that guided me, but all’s well that ends well is not the moral of this story. It’s don’t be afraid of the one that got away, but embrace it before you’re too late.
Flashforward, and I’m told my blog’s got too much hate. How? We’re only two posts in? Well, you haven’t seen what we’ve seen. Your path seems pretty destined, is what they say, and I tend to agree. It’s all innate, but you lack the faith to believe in a higher fate, because you’re too high on your own plate, not realizing it’s empty, and overstuffed with dreams that are fake. Stop inverting meaning with mere feeling? I know that no one’s reading, and that’s okay. I’m not worried. You should fully come to expect more of the same, not because I lack change, but rather because I fear it. There’s no other way. If I didn’t entertain my own thoughts, they’d just sit awake, at night wondering, why no one loves them. Not so loud though, or the stars might get jealous, because everyone loves moonlight; full, half, or crescent.
Flashback, and I am not a leader, despite what you may have heard or witnessed on screen. My character only exists amid other characters in filmed scenes, where I write my own lines (like you see here), or when I’m told how to lead (for that, you’d have to see: Peter). I know that I need her, but there’s too many hers to choose from, yet not enough hers that like him, because he likes he. Combine the two, and you’ve got me with hehe. Define it please? Gladly. It’s the response given when I tell you how I feel about you, but chances are this declaration is hilarious, and because it’s the wrong time and place (not to mention person), it’s disregarded, and laughed off without any merit or reason.
Flashsideways, and I’ve finally come to embrace that I am two sides; in public and private, I am a true Gemini. In a crowded room, I’m a nuisance, or maybe I’m more pleasant. Either way, I won’t stop talking until every joke lands, or someone catches my reference. Also, I’ve learned how to listen, because have you heard my voice? Even I can’t understand all of the accents. I’m pretty sure that’s racist…or something; definitely something. I miss peers. I had a great team, when I actually bothered to reach out and meet them. It’s been years. It’s my fault. I know that. I’m a weakling. Every night, I try sleeping, with a new memory that’s always leaving, or is too tired, or has a headache, and not enough time to give me, but no more. I’m back for the future.