I love me. I love me enough for the both of us. That’s why,
you trust me. I know you have been through more than most of us.
So what are you? What are you, what are you so afraid of?
Darling you, you give but you cannot take love. —Jhene Aiko
Intro quotes are back? Huh, didn’t think I’d miss them;
didn’t think I’d need them. I thought I had my own voice.
Granted it talks to itself, and granted, it’s taken for granted,
but granted are not my wishes, and I am not Aladdin, so
people need to stop asking, Jas, where’s your Jasmine?
I think I was happier your street rat than someone else’s prince, and
just because my last name’s king of the jungle, I’d rather not be him.
I’m just trying to be a carpetbagger who happens to nurse drinks.
When he asked me if I had kids, I said Uh, who would have them?
So he asked if I was married, and I showed him that I had no ring,
and absolutely no intention, so much so that even my parents don’t have
anymore allusions of me ever settling down, and giving them grandkids.
I work in brick and mortar now, hardly a construction job, but it entails looking
forward, and cementing the door closed on my future unless I want to starve.
An artist’s life for me is not an artist’s life for them.
I’m told to remain focused, but I’m not able to self-sustain.
No one thought it would end as it did. No one thought it would end. Period.
Waiting by the mailbox hoping that I got in, half as a last resort, and half
as a much-needed push to finally leave the coffeepot on at the Quick Stop,
and see if Mooby’s was hiring for an opportunity to work with a best
friend; the only writing partner I ever had, he was the Neal to my Dave.
I regret ever leaving that show, or putting it on the back burner, for what
I thought was necessary at the time, and maybe even more important.
It wasn’t, but I’m still glad that it all happened, and maybe could happen again.
I know I’ve changed circumstances and situations haven’t been the same since,
but I don’t want us to live out our lives in an alternate two thousand and seventeen.
That’s its own separate tab above that you’re all welcome to read. Bookmark this, so
you know where to find me. It’s a lost
paradise paradox paradigm finally found online.
[Currently listening to Lava Glaciers.]