Alternate Timelines

I Used To*

Answer: I started out with I do, and ended up with I used to*.

Box of deep dish with some root beer
(comfort food if there was ever any).
Makes up for the fact that you’re not here.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any
one, two, or even three, though four might be stretching things.
I choose to forget most of it, hoping one-five brings me closer yet.
To bump into old friends now would be an accident.
I’d see it as forced, and they’d see it as a coincidence.
What providence? It exists now only in short stories
where the past is never cancelled, and time runs infinite.

I told you from the start I’m not worth it.

That’s what I said to you after we “broke up.”
We both laughed at the notion when it came out of my mouth.
Reading back that conversation, man, I was a real dick.
There were no obstacles. There were just my mind tricks.
I can say now with some clarity that we may have actually worked out
if I was less occupied with self-awareness, and my self-doubt.
(I mean, I had a girl that actually liked me.)
That was un-precedented before it became re-overkill.
It’s rare to see a phoenix rise up from another’s ash,
but I had a tendency to burn [through] an entire flock fast.

I save you = You save me = I save me.

You’re so naïve. Is that what you really think?
We were not a dream team. You woke up. I’m still asleep.
(Psych. I still haven’t slept.)
It’s easier to lie with a straight face to my own head,
than it is to lie in my own bed with the simple truths I can’t forget.
I was tangled words in sole regret.
You were a one way road leading to all way stop signs.
We were an inevitable traffic jam of emotions
on a collision course going the wrong direction.
Tinted windows in my car never get me past sunset.

Question: Do you still think about us?

*That doesn’t mean I still do.