与 + 才

I kind of absorb the abilities of others, but only when they’re close.
Truthfully, when I’m by myself, I don’t…I’m not really anything. —Peter Petrelli

Girl at the passport office liked my Cap shirt, and asked me how I felt about Winter Solider, among other films. I told her while a game changer, I wish we didn’t have to wade through adequate filler before seeing how each one interacted jointly on a shared screen. She left before we could further speak. Ellipses. Isn’t that just the story of all your dreams? Ha Ha, I made a funny. Too bad no one’s reading. While laying in bed that night, I came to the conclusion that I was never needed. Hold up, is this another retread of those feelings? I’m not sure. I kind of forgot that I wrote this as I write this, but I know that I’m serious. The point is, that I was self-touted as the constant. Well, that failed. We know. Now go away, so I can finish writing. No, I’m taking over. Where were we? Oh, that’s right; the part where italics wins. Don’t do this. I’m not doing anything. You brought this upon yourself, so ahem:

If that was the anniversary, then consider this the second honeymoon. There’s no such thing with her (or anyone) as too soon. Did you really think she would’ve swooned as you went on and on waxing thick about films that she’s never seen? It’s all wasted potential, or where would you like to start? I mean, everything’s a brag until it’s never made, and you still call it art? No one wants to hear about deleted scenes that were never shot, or scripts that only exist in a folder on your desktop. You once said I was your biggest fan, but I am no longer infatuated with everything that you ever said. You’ve turned into your idols, Tarantino and Kevin Smith. The only exception is, they actually take pride in what they say, and move toward making that speech a reality. I wish you could be with me how you are with other people, instead of being this reflective asshole who stays locked up at work and at home. You know you had friends once upon a blue moon? I only know that because proof exists in the form of video. I thought you were still making those? What happened? Did you go for broke? All you have now are ideas that you won’t do. All you are is a hype man. You’re not Abed as Batman. You’re one half of Harvey Dent, and even your stand-up doesn’t have a laugh track. It’s kind of sad how you became this from being an empath.

My ability is a crowded room, and to strike up conversation. You don’t even have to know me, but I’ll find a common foundation. We’ll laugh some, and I’ve still got no intentions of turning this into a long-term relation, but that’s a false truth, because I really do, wishing half an hour conversations could be longer now that we’ve made them, but I know I will never see you, and you will not remember. That’s the harsh truth, but it’s not really harsh because I’m the fool who thinks that he has a say in how people should think about you when you’re long gone. Isn’t that the whole point of this blog? So you can get a better read on my inner mind? I know the answer to that one. It’s a quick turnaround. No one wants the dude who Hamlets over the one that makes them smile, and they’re not wrong. I miss those sketches. I miss that kid who signed emails off with keep smiling, and actually meant it. I promise you he’s still in here. He just needs to be near, and he’s working hard to create hope and change to combat his one fear. So, how do you stop an exploding man? Simple. Follow this equation: 与 (yo) +  (sai) = godsend. You’re welcome. やった (yatta).

  • ShagunP

    knew it. you are in japan. ninja training.